Before reading this article kindly read these bible passages;
▪️Numbers 14:28 Say unto them, As truly as I live, saith the Lord , as ye have spoken in mine ears, so will I do to you
▪️Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
▪️Proverbs 21:23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.
1. YOU WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING
I know people who have actually heard this from their parents, and they never got over it. Even though they did amount to something significant in their life, these words penetrated into the deepest inner recesses of their mind and heart. They left a long-lasting wound that is still there today, and, like a scar, it’s a permanent reminder. And unfortunately many of those children ended up not amounting to nothing in life. How can you give birth to children and cripple their destiny by yourself with your mouth?
2. YOU NEVER/YOU ALWAYS
No one always does or never does one thing in particular, so avoid saying “you never (fill in the blank)” or “you always (whatever it is).” If you’re not careful, it could be a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, if you tell your child enough times that they’re never serious, why would they want to? If you tell them that they always fail at math, then they’ll give up trying. It becomes what is called a self-fulfilling prophecy where you expect them to always or never do this or that and they’ll live up or down to that expectation. Never make sweeping statements like “you never do this” or “you always do that” because that is never true.
3. YOU’RE A BAD BOY/BAD GIRL
This one hurts deep. I think it is always best to separate the actions from the child. In other words, if they make a bad choice, tell them that they made a bad decision, never that they are a bad child. They will begin to believe it if they hear it often enough and will have little or no motivation to ever want to change.
4. YOU’RE JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER/MOTHER/SISTER/BROTHER
This one brings a person down, but it also brings and puts down the person you’re comparing them with. What if your mother said “you’re just like your father” or your father said “you’re just like your mother”? That would certainly hurt them, but it would also make them angry because even though their mother or father are not perfect, it’s their mother and father you’re putting down, too. When you say “you’re just like,” you’re locking them into a stereotype and making it impossible for them to escape it.
5. YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT
This one is close to “you always” and “you never,” but it’s a bit different. By saying this, you make them think that everything they do or will ever do will be wrong, and we all know that’s not true. This is such a destructive sentence because it does not only destroys morale for the moment, it makes the future seem pointless, so they feel it’s useless to even try anymore.
6. I’M THROUGH WITH YOU/I WISH I NEVER HAD KIDS
I combined these two because so often they go together. It could also be stated as “I give up on you,” and this would make the child believe that they can never come to you for advice or counsel. This almost makes the child seem that their birth was a mistake and that the parents regretted even having them. This could lead to thoughts of cutting, hurting themselves, or even suicide.
7. YOU ARE A BASTARD/YOU ARE BORN BY MISTAKE
God have a purpose for every child either born out or in of wedlock. Solomon was born out of wedlock yet he became one of the most successful king of his time. Don’t hurt you child by telling him or her he or she is a product of mistake.
8. YOU ARE A DISAPPOINTMENT/YOU ARE DISGRACE TO THIS FAMILY
No one wants to hear he or she is a disappointment or a disgrace. It hurt ones ability to try again.
9. YOU ARE A STUPID BOY/GIRL
As a parent you are a naming authority over your child. Whatsoever Adam call them, that was the name therefore. So, whatsoever you call them that is what they will be.
10. YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN WILL DO TO YOU WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO ME NOW
This is a curse and parents are not suppose to curse their children regardless their offense. Its better to bless them than to curse them.
Parents watch out!